Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they need a makeover?
This time of the year is hard on me. My indolent systemic mastocytosis (ISM) prevents me from enjoying the summertime. I just can’t tolerate the heat. So, I spend most of the summer indoors.
I rarely leave my home except to do a grocery pickup or take my granddaughter to gymnastics. When I do leave, my hair is tied up, and I don’t wear makeup. It is mentally exhausting living like this.
I also do not like to go shopping. but I love shopping online. I have a closet full of clothes that live on their hangers, never worn.
This is what my life is like until the fall and winter months, or whenever the cold weather makes its way to Louisiana. I say that because it’s not uncommon for it to feel like summertime on Thanksgiving Day. When those cool days do finally roll around, I get to make up for the days spent indoors. I absolutely love the cold weather!
When I started to think about everything I want to do once I can safely leave my house, I realized I am applying the same makeup in the same way I have for years. My skin is mature now. Things need to change. I have watched the tutorials online, but changing my entire routine is just too much of a chore for me. I also feel like even though I show my hairdresser different photos for inspiration, my hair always turns out looking the same way.
When you feel bad physically for so much of the year, it can bring your spirits down. I guess that’s where I am right now.
On my good days, or the days when my ISM symptoms aren’t as bad, I get stuff done around the house that I couldn’t get too on the bad days. So, my good days are wasted on work around the house. Then I’m tired, and it all starts over the next day.
When I look in the mirror, I find it difficult not to pick out every flaw. It often seems like I missed the memo that some other women got on how to age gracefully.
I know that many women struggle with these kinds of negative thoughts. But ladies, we need to be kind to ourselves. Even though I know this, being kind to myself is so much more difficult than being kind to others. When I look at other women, I see their beauty, not their flaws. So why do I only see my flaws when I look at myself?
I need to change my outlook on myself, and if you struggle with negative thoughts about yourself or your appearance, so do you. We are not being fair to ourselves. Yes I have wrinkles and laugh lines. I have gray hair, too. But that’s supposed to be okay. I am getting older, after all.
Living with a rare disease is hard enough without the mental anguish and anxiety that goes along with it. It’s scary. Life is hard. But what’s most important is that I keep moving forward, even when the journey is tough. And I am surrounded by people who love me, wrinkles, gray hair and all.
